Cognosco

I read a lot of blogs. Unfortunately, I can’t always remember who said what or where I read something. But someone this week said that Barack Obama inspired her to be a better person. This is the kind of statement that would normally seem rather dramatic to me, except that I had already been thinking the same thing myself.

It is strange to say that someone you have never even met has inspired you to be a better person. It could easily be misconstrued as me elevating Mr. Obama to the status of a religious figure. So I feel the need to clarify what I mean when I say that the next President of the United States inspires me to be a better person.

I spent most of my early 20s stomping my ideological feet and wailing like a toddler. I was obsessed with beliefs and belief systems and "truth". I was all too quick to criticize any system that wasn’t mine, along with the people who endorsed it. I thought all Christians must be fools. I viewed everything about “organized religion” as bad. I was righteously indignant…at everything. I was married to someone who shared my "beliefs" but who was also a lazy asshole. I myself was a judgmental bitch. And I was miserable.

Over the last few years, I have worked to overcome this tendency. I have struggled to be more tolerant and to really listen to other people. Many of them will not return the courtesy, but understanding and cooperation has to start somewhere. Why shouldn’t it start with me?

The problem with cultivating understanding has been that I didn’t know HOW. I didn’t know how to be tolerant or how to listen. I’ve had no role model. I’ve had no example. And I don’t know how much you know about Mr. Obama’s background or how much footage you have watched of him interacting with others, but he can do both of these things VERY well. That’s why the caricature as a far leftist radical was ridiculous. I actually think that many hard-core progressives may be disappointed with his approach. Already, many are criticizing him for making centrist choices for his cabinet positions. Apparently, some people voted for him while overlooking his history as a mediator and pragmatic problem solver. When he spoke of uniting the country, did they think that meant he was going to somehow force everyone who didn’t vote for him magically swing around to a more liberal point of view? How would that be possible?

Here’s the deal. We pinko commie liberals are only a subset of the people who live in this country. And he has been elected to be the next President OF THE UNITED STATES. You know, THE WHOLE COUNTRY. If we wanted more of someone who only listens to their "base" and ignores the other half of the country, then we should have elected another Bush. Like most people, I think that my leftist-liberal-progressive-radical opinions are the correct ones to have. I disagree with many conservative views, but also recognize that not all conservatives are religious zealots. Yes, religious zealots freak me out, but even evangelicals and fundamentalists are still a part of this country. I don’t want them to hold the power. I don’t want their policies to succeed. But I do want them to be listened to and respected. I am sick of the divisiveness, but am personally ill-prepared to find solutions that incorporate the opinions of others. I would really like to see a good example of how it can be done.

I think that deep-down Obama is pretty leftist. But he also has a gift of listening to others and focusing on solutions rather than differences. It’s called pragmatism, and I think we could all use a little more of it. Politicians, organizers, voters and everyone else could take something from this example. I learned after all of my early adulthood ideological foot stomping that it didn’t really matter what people say they believe—it mattered far more how they behaved, the actions they performed, how much kindness they cultivated, and whether or not they were willing to focus on solutions instead of conflict.

I have given a lot of thought to the way the Obama campaign was run, and I find it amazing that this was a campaign that was really run by “the people”. Me. Us. We. When asked to make phone calls, you were given a script to work with, but encouraged you to make your own and speak about your own views and perceptions and goals. The focus was on relationships between people rather than pushing an ideology. Obama was often criticized for his rhetoric of “Change”, and that he didn’t give enough specifics about the kinds of Change he was referring to. I personally think that the reason he didn’t always specify exactly what “Change” meant is because he wanted to leave room for our input. It IS enough to just endorse Change. Change in and of itself is a radical concept. I want a President who is listening to you and me and “them” and all of us. I don’t want a "Decider". I want a moderator. I want a "Uniter".

You can go to the Obama-Biden post-campaign website right now and make suggestions and comments. You don’t have to prove that you are a card-carrying communist in order to make a comment. Anyone could write in. I wrote about midwifery being a respectful, cost-effective alternative to hospital births and asked that birth options be expanded under the new health care plan. I pointed out that poor women and minorities were disproportionally screwed over by the current system, and that we could greatly improve maternal and neonatal outcomes by endorsing a midwifery model of care no matter where the woman chooses to give birth. The next thing I’ll be writing in about is the needs of working mothers and the need for legal protection for breastfeeding and pumping time/space in the workplace. I have heard that one of Michelle Obama’s goals as the First Lady after she and the family get settled is to focus on the needs of working mothers. I think that would be simply fantastic and LONG OVERDUE. (Off topic—shouldn’t First Lady be a paid position? I mean, if it’s not, and she’s working and organizing and hosting and going to events and such, doesn’t that make her husband her employer? More about his here.)

What do you care about? Why don’t you speak up? It can’t hurt—even if it gets overlooked you at least were forced to articulate it. That is where this all starts—with communication. Being able to put your concerns into grown-up words and listen to others.

I have spent most of my life hoping others would find me smart or funny or hard-working or “cool”. When I say Barack Obama has inspired me to be a better person, it is not because he is smart, funny, hard-working, or “cool” (though I think he IS all of these things too). I mean that I want to be a person that others look at and say, hey, she really listens well, or, hey, she really tries to understand me. When my children are grown, I hope they can use these words to describe me as well as think that I’m funny and hardworking. And I hope that my example helps them to embody these qualities as well.