Cognosco

I skipped a day. Oh well.

First of all, I’m kind of tired and crabby right now. I’ve been fighting a chest/nose/I’m-so-freaking-tired bug for 2 weeks now. Albie got it too, and seems to have kicked it much easier than I did. I am grateful that his speedy recovery means few nights of me lying awake in bed, waiting for his next coughing spell, so I can…well, there’s not much I can do aside from steaming the hell out of the room and slathering him in smelly stuff.

Albie decided that 5:45 was an appropriate time to start the day today. This, after two months of sleeping until 7 or later. I was REALLY grateful for the 8:00 days. Today was the second time this week he’s been up before 6. I am not grateful for the early rising–his early rising has been THE HARDEST part of motherhood for me. After two years, you would think that I could adapt to his schedule. It hasn’t happened yet. I’m just not built to go to bed and rise early. Even when I am dead tired, if I go to bed early, I just wake up in the middle of the night and can’t go back to sleep. And when I am overtired, I become a horrible parent and a horrible spouse. I am terrified that 5:45 will become the norm again. Blackout curtains, my ass.

But, I tried to stay positive. I decided I’d just nap when he did. Except that he fell asleep in the car, and when I carried him inside, he decided that 10 minutes was a long enough nap for today. I am also not grateful for the lack of nap.

I am, however, grateful that when we went to the Farmer’s Market today, I was able to leave the stroller in the car and Albert actually stayed with me (more or less). We fed some baby goats. We munched some kettle corn. We ate some tamales. He even at a mushroom tamale–mushrooms and all! I am grateful for the lovely farmer girl who always gives us whatever he grabs and starts to eat for free. Today it was a tomato. I am also grateful that he didn’t try to punch me, kick me, pull my hair, or otherwise assault me when it was time to leave. I am grateful that we made it to Pane Bianco right as they were opening and so we barely had to wait for our sandwich. I am grateful that Albert seemed to be feeling better, and so we stopped at the playgound for the first time all week. I am grateful that when Albert fell in love with a little girl’s tractor at the playground, the mother said he could keep it. And this was a mother who I could tell did not own much. I almost felt bad that she gave it to us, except that it seemed to make her so happy to have something to give. I am grateful that again, I didn’t get punched, kicked, or otherwise assaulted when it was time to leave. I am grateful that Albert has been especially impish today, and has made me laugh several times. He is currently dancing to pre-programmed music on his kiddie keyboard, and it’s kind of adorable. Now he’s asking to watch 101 Dalamations by saying "woof woof" and patting his leg. I’m grateful for old Disney cartoons that have a certain charm that is not present in the newer Disney cartoons (except for Pixar movies, which are charming in a different way). They may not be educational, but they make me all warm and fuzzy, and that counts for something.

I’m grateful that Albie is sporting his adorable self today, because if he was wearing his difficult suit, it would be really hard to resist feeding him to the dogs.

And then I could sleep.