Cognosco

I skipped a day. Oh well.

First of all, I’m kind of tired and crabby right now. I’ve been fighting a chest/nose/I’m-so-freaking-tired bug for 2 weeks now. Albie got it too, and seems to have kicked it much easier than I did. I am grateful that his speedy recovery means few nights of me lying awake in bed, waiting for his next coughing spell, so I can…well, there’s not much I can do aside from steaming the hell out of the room and slathering him in smelly stuff.

Albie decided that 5:45 was an appropriate time to start the day today. This, after two months of sleeping until 7 or later. I was REALLY grateful for the 8:00 days. Today was the second time this week he’s been up before 6. I am not grateful for the early rising–his early rising has been THE HARDEST part of motherhood for me. After two years, you would think that I could adapt to his schedule. It hasn’t happened yet. I’m just not built to go to bed and rise early. Even when I am dead tired, if I go to bed early, I just wake up in the middle of the night and can’t go back to sleep. And when I am overtired, I become a horrible parent and a horrible spouse. I am terrified that 5:45 will become the norm again. Blackout curtains, my ass.

But, I tried to stay positive. I decided I’d just nap when he did. Except that he fell asleep in the car, and when I carried him inside, he decided that 10 minutes was a long enough nap for today. I am also not grateful for the lack of nap.

I am, however, grateful that when we went to the Farmer’s Market today, I was able to leave the stroller in the car and Albert actually stayed with me (more or less). We fed some baby goats. We munched some kettle corn. We ate some tamales. He even at a mushroom tamale–mushrooms and all! I am grateful for the lovely farmer girl who always gives us whatever he grabs and starts to eat for free. Today it was a tomato. I am also grateful that he didn’t try to punch me, kick me, pull my hair, or otherwise assault me when it was time to leave. I am grateful that we made it to Pane Bianco right as they were opening and so we barely had to wait for our sandwich. I am grateful that Albert seemed to be feeling better, and so we stopped at the playgound for the first time all week. I am grateful that when Albert fell in love with a little girl’s tractor at the playground, the mother said he could keep it. And this was a mother who I could tell did not own much. I almost felt bad that she gave it to us, except that it seemed to make her so happy to have something to give. I am grateful that again, I didn’t get punched, kicked, or otherwise assaulted when it was time to leave. I am grateful that Albert has been especially impish today, and has made me laugh several times. He is currently dancing to pre-programmed music on his kiddie keyboard, and it’s kind of adorable. Now he’s asking to watch 101 Dalamations by saying "woof woof" and patting his leg. I’m grateful for old Disney cartoons that have a certain charm that is not present in the newer Disney cartoons (except for Pixar movies, which are charming in a different way). They may not be educational, but they make me all warm and fuzzy, and that counts for something.

I’m grateful that Albie is sporting his adorable self today, because if he was wearing his difficult suit, it would be really hard to resist feeding him to the dogs.

And then I could sleep.

After four years of marriage, my idea of a good date night is blowing a wad of cash on fine food with this guy:

(the one on the right…)

We have covered miles of roads together, seen fantastic live music acts together, spent way too much money eating out together, created a little monster together, and welcomed that monster into the world at home together. We’ve also argued, fought, and gotten really angry together. But after four years of marriage, we’re still in love. And for that, I am immensely grateful.

Today, I am grateful that despite all of our, ahem, disagreements, my husband and I still love each other. In fact, we are still so committed to each other that we are willing to permanently disfigure our physical bodies as a tribute to one another.

We love Radiohead, and last year we took a little romantic vacation in a secluded cabin up north. We listened to a lot of music on that vacation, but the latest Radiohead album, In Rainbows blew our minds. So, we decided to get the Radiohead "scary bear" as (mostly) matching tattoos.

In particular, the song "Videotape" really affected us. Here are the lyrics:

When I’m at the pearly gates
This’ll be on my videotape
my videotape

When Mephistopheles is just beneath
And he’s reaching up to grab me

This is one for the good days
And I have it all here
In red blue green
Red blue green

You are my centre when I spin away
Out of control on videotape
On videotape

This is my way of saying goodbye
Because I can’t do it face to face

No matter what happens now
I won’t be afraid
Because I know today has been the most perfect day I’ve ever seen.

 

I am grateful to have such a wonderful husband, even when we have rough days.

And, as I predicted yesterday, I am grateful Chris Bianco lives in Phoenix. The pizza WAS amazing.

Jeanette tagged me on FB to participate in a little "30 days of gratitude" challenge. I’m taking the bait. I’ve wanted to do something like a gratitude diary or journal for some time, but it’s hard to be motivated to actually do it. There’s actually quite a bit of literature on the role of gratitude in one’s outlook, and there have even been interventions designed around the simple concept of writing down what you’re grateful for. Every day. It has been shown to reduce depression, increase positive emotions, and generally make you happier. So, why not now?

So, what am I grateful for today? I’m grateful that last night, I ate not one, not two, but THREE perfect oranges. I had purchased them from the Farmer’s Market that morning, so not only were they delicious, but they were chemical-free. These were those perfect oranges where the segments separate from the peel easily, there were no seeds, and they were so sweet that I almost forgot they were a citrus fruit. I stood over the kitchen sink with the juice running down my face and my hands, and I just couldn’t stop at one. It’s a miracle I didn’t eat the whole bag, but thought it would be a shame if no one else got to taste them to agree with me. I am also grateful for organic farmers. There is something deeply satisfying about acquiring your food from the people who grew it.

I am also grateful that I have a wonderful MIL, with whom I can trust to leave Dude for two whole nights. Hubby and I had originally planned to get away for the weekend and stay in a cabin up north to celebrate our anniversary. We ended up postponing the get-away until after I am done defending my dissertation, so that I can spend a chunk of this weekend working on it. So, since we already have a sitter, we’re going to hit Pizzeria Bianco tonight. We have never been, but have heard it is phenomenal. I predict that I will be grateful that Chris Bianco lives in Phoenix, AZ.

I am grateful that yesterday I was able to spend my day with two fantastic women and their children. I am grateful that all of our children are healthy, and that my son has a body so strong that he does things on a playground that 3 year-old children are just mastering. I am grateful that he is now having a verbal language explosion, and that I have one less thing to fret about…for now.

I am grateful that my husband has been letting me get extra sleep this week as I try to kick this cold. Mornings are so hard for my anyway, and I get way more than my share sleeping-in days. I owe him big time…oh, wait. I birthed his son. We might be even .

I am grateful for many other things, but I’ll hold on to some of them just in case I have to pull them out later.

I’ve been thinking about holiday traditions a lot this year, probably because I now have someone to pass them along to. When I was growing up, our big holiday tradition was begging our parents to open presents early. We usually succeeded, and got to pick out a couple of different gifts on different nights within the week prior to Christmas that we were allowed to open. It was kind of fun, and I guess most people don’t do that. That’s a tradition that would be kind of fun to pass on, and my parents were crafty enough to not put the good stuff out until Christmas morning (even after we outgrew Santa). We put up the tree every weekend after Thanksgiving. Mom would let us blare the Alvin and the Chipmunks Christmas music (still love it). We went to my Grandma Mickey’s (a nickname from when she was in high school) house for Christmas dinner every year. My grandpa Judd (who she married after my father’s father died) would give us "weird" gifts like National Geographic magazines. My parents called them "used". I would now call them "recycled". And dammit, I wish I had all those National Geographics now. Another tradition was that my parents would inevitably end up in a fight on Christmas morning. This was really nothing out of the ordinary. They fought all the time, but it just stood out more on Christmas. That’s a tradition I don’t intend to pass on.

None of those traditions were "official" traditions that anyone talked about. I just recognize them now as I look back. My husband’s family, however, has several "official" traditions. He comes from a big family of eleven–six boys and five girls. Apparently, every Christmas eve, they would get to open one present–new pajamas to lounge around in on Christmas morning. My mother-in-law used to make the pajamas, but eventually started buying them . After all, that’s a lot of handmade pajamas! She continues to buy pajamas for all "unmarried or uncohabitating" offspring. This tradition has continued so that her kids now do the same thing for their kids. I’ve already bought Albie’s for this year, and Hyrum and I also buy each other something pajama-related. He bought me a robe last year so I could use it during labor (didn’t happen–I never got in the tub). His family also tells the Christmas story on Christmas eve–they either read it, watch it, or act it out (it varies). I have a hard time keeping a straight face if it’s read or we watch a video about it, but I do enjoy it when the kids act it out. It’s just damn cute.

Another cool tradition they have is that on Christmas morning, everybody lines up outside the living room in order of their age, so that the littlest get to come into the room with the presents first. It makes for great pictures. Many of the kids come home for Christmas, with their kids in tow, so there are A LOT of people there for Christmas. This stands in stark contrast to my family, where the maximum number of people we ever had at grandma’s house for Christmas was ten. With occasional pop-ins from a few others. One year, there were thirty people at my in-laws’ house because all the kids and grandkids were there. Since then, five more grandkids have been born, and there’s another due this February. Being around that many kids on Christmas morning is way too much fun. I’m not Christian, and have struggled for years about the whole Christmas thing. I’ve finally just given in and accepted it as a great time to celebrate family. And nobody celebrates family better than Mormons! This year, almost all (if not all) of the grandkids will be there. I can’t wait to see Albie with his cousins. I only grew up with one, and she was kind of lame…

Somewhere along the way when my husband was a kid they had a family meeting about other traditions they’d like to have for Christmas. So, on Christmas eve, they make pizza. They get premade crusts and lots of different toppings, and then everyone gets to create the pizza they want.  And on Christmas day, rather than having a big dinner, they have a big breakfast. It’s huge. And it works out so well for Hyrum and I because we have breakfast there and then drive up to Prescott Valley to my grandma’s house for dinner.

As for the traditions Hyrum and I would like to start for our family, I’m uncertain. I really want to celebrate Solstice, so that may turn out to be a day that we exchange gifts among ourselves and then go celebrate Christmas with the extended family. The Santa thing complicates everything…Maybe we’ll celebrate all the December holidays! More cheer for everyone.

We do have one tradition so far. Every year, on an unspecified date close to Christmas, we watch "It’s a Wonderful Life". Maybe this will be a movie that we eventually watch on Solistice, even though it’s sort of Christmas themed. Hyrum was talking with his coworkers the other day about favorite Christmas movies, and he was the only one who mentioned this movie. I think that’s so sad. His coworkers are all pretty much in their early twenties, and they thought the movie was "cliche". They failed to realize that all of the "cliche" movies were modeled after that one! But to be honest, I don’t know that I would have appreciated it in my early twenties either. It’s the kind of movie you learn to appreciate after life has kicked you in the crotch a few times and you’ve had to give up on dreams and learn to appreciate new ones. I look forward to seeing it every year. And I cry like a baby during the scene between the pharmacist and young George. And then of course I cry at the end. If you haven’t seen it in years, watch it again. I doubt you will be disappointed.

So, what are the holiday traditions in your family? If you write about them, please comment and leave a link. If you aren’t Christian, do you still celebrate Christmas? If you celebrate Solstice, do you still celebrate Christmas too? Do you do the whole Santa thing? I love hearing about families and their traditions.

We recently joined a co-op farm share kind of thing. It’s $21 per week, but would have been $18 if I’d gotten my shit together to sign up earlier. The way it works is you pay for several weeks in advance and then show up at a specified time and get a share of 8 different things and that’s what you get. Which for me is totally exciting, because there is very little in the way of food that I don’t like or can’t find a way to tolerate. So, it’s like Christmas for me every week.

We’ve only done it for two weeks so far, but here’s what we got the first week:

2 ears of corn (and damn they were good)

2 onions

4 sweet potatoes

A bag of green beans

A bag of arugula

1 butternut squash

A large bag of raw pistachios

A bag of about 10 small heirloom eggplants (!!! I didn’t know such a thing existed)

So, had I bought this stuff in a grocery store, it would have probably been around $12. Organic, probably $16. But there’s something really cool about knowing you are supporting a farm that would otherwise not be able to exist. And at the end of the week, we still totally had stuff left. I had never actually bought or cooked with arugula before, and that experience alone was worth the money. I made a pasta sauce of arugula, roasted eggplant, crushed tomatoes, and goat cheese and it was rich and divine.

This week, we got:

2 onions

4 sweet potatoes

1 butternut squash

6 anaheim (I think?) chili peppers

A bag of arugula

A bag of mustard greens

A bag of bok choy

A bag of tatsoi (again, never heard of this before, so this could be interesting)

So, there are a lot of greens this week, and I’m sort of excited about finding different things to do with them. I love to cook, and I especially love the kind of cooking where you assess what you have and try to make the most of it without buying anything else, or only buying the bare minumum required to use as much as possible of what you already possess. So I am totally stoked about the challenge. Ideas are welcome, and I’ll post some of the more interesting things I create…

I’ve decided Dude is never actually going to pop a tooth, but just remain in pain forever.

As such, he loves very very cold things, and I was lamenting the fact that I wanted to give him ice cream, but don’t want to give him dairy yet.

So, I made ice cream from breastmilk, which is a suggestion I found on kellymom, but I thought it would be hard. It so totally wasn’t.

I just took some of the breastmilk in the fridge, put it in one of the many breast milk storage bags lying around in my cupboards, and then stuck that in a tupperware container with ice and salt. I didn’t even bother to add sugar. And I shook it for about 5 minutes.

Dude went nuts for it. I so wish I had tried this during the summer, or when he was really wanting to try solids, but not quite tummy-ready.

Dude loves carrots, so I bought a whole bunch of jars of carrot baby food, but now he hates baby food. He told me he is far too old for pureed food any more. I had to translate from dudespeak to receive that message, but trust me, that is exactly what he said. So, guess what I’m gonna do with those jars? Yup, carrot flavored ice cream. Yum.